The day my heart doubled

And what happened then? Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day.

After 9 long months, Eric and I finally met our little girl. 

Estelle "Elle" Lillian Skates

Elle was born on June 22 at 4:51am.  She weighed 6 lbs 7 oz and was 19.5in long.  One pound larger than Mauldin and one whole inch bigger

In the days leading up to Elle’s birth, so many emotions swirled through my body.  Excitement, anticipation…all the emotions you expect and expectant mother to feel, but I also felt something else.  Extreme apprehension!  My family was about to increase.  I was gaining another child. 

For those that have ever sat down with Eric and I, you know that Mauldin is the center of our world.  We live and breathe for that little boy.  There is not a decision made in our house that doesn’t include some type of discussion about him.  There are many times that Eric will turn to me, just to say, “I love that little boy,”  in which I reply, “I love him too.”

Mauldin James Skates

Eric and I always planned to have more than one child.  We both have siblings, and family is a top priority in both of our lives.  I always knew that Eric would be an amazing father by watching him play with our nephews and niece.  Likewise, he knew the same about me.  Being the planners that we are, we had always discussed having our children a few years apart.  Not too close together, but not too far apart.  The day I found out I was pregnant with Elle, that plan was erased.

Fifteen months apart.  That’s how far apart our angels are.  God’s plan and our plan did not match up, and in my experience, God always gets his way.  Elle was our pleasant surprise.  NOT AN ACCIDENT!  This is a term that I refuse to use.  A pet peeve of mine your might say.  I was a surprise to my parents as well.  Never once was I refered to as an accident.  An accident is something that happens, and you regret the incident that occurred.  Elle is not that.  No…she is my surprise.  A beautifully wrapped present I received.  The contents of which, I did not ask for, but definitely needed.

Leading back to my original point.  Apprehension.  In the days leading up to her birth, this is how I felt.  Why?  How could I love both of my children equally and so much?  I knew how much I loved Mauldin, but how could my heart include that much love for another child?  My parents had 3 girls.  I always knew they loved us equally.  I never felt like one was more loved than I, but how did they do it?  How did parents everywhere do it?  Were they just lying or was it really possible?

The night Elle arrived, Eric and I were watching the Bachelorette, a show I swear I will never watch again, but continue to get wrapped up in.  I had begun having contractions at 7:30, but they weren’t that strong.  I could talk through them and I swear Mauldin’s hurt a lot worse.  Eric insisted that we time them though.  By 8:30, they had been 5 minutes apart for 1 solid hour. 

“Okay, let’s go to the hospital.”  Eric looked over, expecting me to get up off the couch and follow his lead.  My mother was staying with us, so we didn’t have to worry about where to deposit Mauldin.

“Let’s wait until the Bachelorette is over.  I really want to see if Kasey leaves.  He really gets on my (contraction….) nerves.”  The look on my husbands face was priceless.  He looked to my mom for some backup.

“Laura, get up.  We are going to the hospital.  I’m not getting there only to hear the doctor say that you waited too long for the epidural.”

Reluctantly, I made my way upstairs and got ready to go.  Once we arrived at the hospital, I was 4cm dilated.  The doctor decided to break my water.  We were having a baby.  Again, my apprehension rose.  I couldn’t wait to meet my baby girl, but I hoped that what I heard was true.  That my love would equally split between my children.

By 4:15, we were ready to push.  As soon as she came out, the doctor turned her to face me.  At that moment I understood what so many parents had told me.  My love did not split.  My heart grew.  It grew to include her in it.  My daughter.  My precious angel.  My universe now included two suns to revolve around:  Mauldin and Elle.

We are home now and learning to adapt to a 15 month old and one week old.  It is not easy, but we are learning every day.  Mauldin loves his baby sister and likes to watch her sleep in the pack in play.  He also enjoys playing with all her new toys, which he most likely thinks are his.  My apprehension has melted is replaced my loved and extreme exhaustion, but such is the life of a parent.  I will get caught up on my sleep in about 20 years I guess.  Until then, we will just laugh our way through it and enjoy every minute.

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