Night, night Mommy. I’m sorry.

“Ready for a bath Little Man?”

“Da”

Eric follows as Mauldin crawls up the stairs for bath and bed time.  I’m still cleaning up the kitchen and wiping down the counters, trying to remove any trace of the plague that hit our household this past weekend.  After wiping the last stain of the counter, I make my way up the stairs to the sound of running water and giggling.  Eric already has Mauldin in the tub, so I move across the hall to turn the laundry over.

“I’m just not going to get any time with him tonight,” I sigh as I try to figure out how to fold the fitted sheet for our bed. 

“Well…Why don’t I finish his bath, and you can put him to bed.  I need to get to class anyway.”  Eric has class tonight, but he still had time to come home from work, eat dinner, and play with Mauldin before leaving.

“Okay.”  I finish with the laundry and Eric finishes with bath time.  Today, I didn’t get to leave work right away, which meant less time with my little boy.  We try to keep him on a routine, so even if we get home later than usually, bed time still remains the same.  The only time this changes is on the weekends, when he gets to stay up a little late.

After bathtime, Eric brings Mauldin into the nursery for me to get ready for bed. 

“Alright Babe, I gotta go.  Bye Mauldin.  Daddy loves you.”  With that, Eric leans over to give Mauldin a kiss, which Mauldin returns by peeing onto the floor.  Typical night

After getting Mauldin into his bedtime clothes and reading him a bedtime story, I lay him in his crib to go to sleep. 

“Night Night Mauldin.  Look…Sock Monkey is going to do Itsty, Bitsy for you.”  This means, I move Sock Monkey’s arms and sing Itsty, Bitsy Spider while Mauldin laughs.  “Okay, lay down.  Time for night night.”

At this point, I leave the room.  This is Mauldin’s cue to begin crying.  As I look on the monitor, I notice that Sock Monkey is no longer in the bed.  Niether Buzz nor Barney Bear.  I go into the nursery and on the floor are all three missing friends.  “Mauldin, you do not throw your friends out of the crib.”  I place them back in and leave.  Again, crying, and again, I look on the monitor.  This time, I see Mauldin going and picking up Sock Monkey and chunking him over the side.  I open the door to the nursery, and as I look in, there is Buzz in Mauldin’s hand. 

“Mauldin…No!!!  You do not throw your friends.”  Again I go in and pick up Sock Monkey and Buzz and put them back in the crib.  “Lay down…it’s night night.”

For a third time, I leave.  This time, I watch the monitor.  Just as expected, first goes Sock Monkey, then Buzz, and finally Barney Bear.  Then, I watch, as Mauldin gets quiet and begins watching the door.  I know he expects me to come in again and pick them up, but this time I am not.  Finally, he lays down.  I watch him toss and turn.  He obviously can’t get comfortable.  Finally, he sits up in the middle of his crib and begins to cry.  It’s a different sort of cry.  It’s no longer the “I’M NOT GOING TO BED AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME” cry.  It’s the “Mommy, I really need you” cry.

For a final time, I go in the nursery.  This time, I don’t fuss.  Instead I quietly pick up his friends and place them in the crib.  Then I pick up my little boy.  Instead of more tears, I get a hug.  Then, we sit in the rocker and rock, while he lays his head on my shoulders and plays with my hair.  Although Mauldin can’t tell me with his words, I can still feel it.  “Mommy, I’m sorry.”

“I know it’s hard buddy, but it’s bedtime and you have to go to sleep.  Mommy loves you very much.  I know that a lot is changing, but Mommy always loves you.  You will always be my precious little boy.”  We rock a little longer. “Mauldin, I think Sock Monkey is lonely.  I think he misses you.  Why don’t you lay down with him.  I think he will sleep better.”  I give my little boy one more kiss and lay him down.  He immediately curls up with his Sock Monkey.  I sneak out. 

Night, Night Sweet Boy…Night Night

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